Real quick… don’t miss the video link at the end of this email.  Brene Brown speaks about what I’m about to say in a very fun and eloquent way!

One more request. Check out this information for my first ever women’s retreat called Beyond You- An Outdoor Adventure for Women.  There are no pre-qualifiers for this event.  It’s a come as you are and love you-for-you event.  Afraid of heights, don’t feel fit, get anxious in a group- no worries because this is a non-judgemental and supportive environment.  You only push yourself as far as you are comfortable.  If you are the wrong gender for this event, please pass along to someone of the correct gender that you care about.

Now here’s my take on being vibrantly imperfect.

I don’t know any perfect people.  So why do I shoot for even getting close to it?  I look in my sheet closet and I say, “Martha doesn’t fold sheets like this.  She has a very organized and constructive sheet folding procedure.”  Mine are rolled up in balls and stuffed, and I close the door quickly hoping it holds it all together.  Then I walk down the hall and say to myself, “You are so not Martha, but she spent 4 months in jail and I REALLY don’t want to go to jail.”  That ends it… every time!

Perfectionism is all in our heads, but it spins around a lot.  The real problem is thinking we aren’t okay the way we are and that being flawed is a bad thing.

Recently I was having a conversation with a friend who is pretty darn close to Martha.  You know the type… makes homemade Halloween costumes, works, volunteers, teaches her kids to read BEFORE Pre-K, can juggle lots of balls at once and do it well.  I’m not sure if I worry she will run herself into the ground or I am just jealous.

Anyway, back to my story.  Recently I caught her on a bad day.   A VERY bad day.  She was sick and very sleep deprived.  I saw a side to her on this day that I have not seen in the many years that I have known her.  She was so worn out that she didn’t have the energy to filter anything. She was just herself.

My friend was so raw and real and was letting me into her head.  Now I expect this from clients, but it’s rare for people that aren’t paying me to tell me their inner “evil” thoughts.  Like how she wanted to pin her babysitter to the wall by the neck and let her know what she thought about the way she just talked to her child.  She used lots of colorful four letter words.  It was great!

I loved every minute of this conversation.  So much so that I felt like asking her to pause so I could grab a glass of wine and popcorn.  This was way better than any reality show.

When people are vulnerable and speak their truth they are really letting their heart shine through.  I heard her true voice on that day.  It’s not the flavorful language but the fact that she allowed herself to say to me, “I’m real and my life and my problems are real.”

I can connect to real and so can you.

What I realize more and more is that nobody feels okay just the way we are. There’s always something to change and fix. This right here, my peeps, is the root of all self-destructive evil.   It’s the carrot and the stick. “When I fix (fill in the blank) about me, then I will be good enough.”

The real secret is that it is our uniqueness and flaws that make us imperfectly interesting.

Embrace yourself just the way you are.

Go be Vibrantly imperfect!

Watch this amazing video by Brene Brown that sums this up in a great way.  Click here for the link to the website with the video.

He has a house built out of sticks that frequently falls. He’s not very fond of the other animals in the forest.  His tail is detachable and is prone to fall off.  He lives in a place labeled, “Eeyore’s Gloomy Place: Rather Boggy
and Sad.”

Eeyore is one low energy donkey who is in great need of some chakra
clearing!

I have a new name for that part of us that wants to hold us back and tell us
“it can’t happen,”  “why bother,” ” I don’t deserve what I want,” ” don’t
get your hopes up.”  It’s our “Inner Eeyore!”

As I help my clients get unstuck and get where they want to go,  we always
encounter their inner Eeyore.  However, Eeyore is the best at playing
poohsticks and he can write poems.  He has gifts, he’s just not very good at
seizing the day and living in the moment like Tigger!   He gets stuck in the
past and predicts the future in woeful ways.  Thank goodness he has some
good friends around him that love him and attach his tail when it falls off.

So, how is your inner Eeyore holding you back, bringing you down and/or
allowing fear to overcome you and paralyze you moving forward?

Embracing this part of us instead of rejecting it or criticizing it is the
way to integrate this part of self.  We can combine it with the inner Tigger
that wants us to bounce forward.  If our stripes fall off, we can always
paint them back on.

I teach my clients to understand what that inner Eeyore needs.

Once we understand that even though we have different parts of self that
seem to have different agendas, ultimately all parts of us want our highest
and greatest good. It’s just that they all want to go about it differently.
Combining the strengths of our inner Eeyore with our inner Tigger can get us
to our goals without all the negativity and self sabotage.

It’s about taking risks but not to the point that we give Eeyore a panic
attack.  Eeyore is going to get uncomfortable… period.  Uncomfortable and
paralyzed with fear is very different.  Expect to be uncomfortable and
afraid when you move forward and get unstuck, but make sure you soothe your
inner Eeyore along the way.

Now…. I’m planning something that I think is so exciting that my inner
Tigger can’t sit still.  It will unsettle Eeyore, but I will have some deep
breathing involved to soothe him too.

What is it?

A day long outdoor adventure that involves activities to relax you, connect
you to you and others, and get that part of you that needs a push going in
the right direction.

Details coming soon….

Be Vibrant!

Beth

Okay, so here it is.  My blood is still boiling from watching Dr. Oz yesterday.

Let me set the stage.  I sit down and decide to turn on the t.v. – rare for me and most mothers of youngins.  Dr. Oz is in the middle of his show with 3 women on stage and he’s teaching them about a new way to eat and feel great!!!  Fabulous.

It’s a diet!!! You get a set number of calories a day and “cheat” snacks.   You get to eat a scrumptious see through pizza on Saturday- the cheat day.  I get my pizza at Sal’s, and he doesn’t make see through pizza.   What about that Dr. Oz?  I bet he’s not eating see through pizza and I betcha his wife isn’t either.

I begin muttering incomplete sentences to the t.v.  There’s more- stay tuned because next he teaches a woman how to get rid of those ugly wrinkles and look younger with parsley tea ice cubes to take away the inflammation.  He then hands this poor woman a bag of who knows what and says, “I want you to value yourself.”  I thought I was going to throw the remote at the t.v.

I turn it off and then can’t stay away (fearful of the next thing he’s advising) and turn it back on to more tips from the doctor.  A woman is in tears as she’s on a runway stage in jeans that claim to take 10lbs. off.  She said it’s because her butt looked good in her new jeans.   She was looking at the before picture of herself.    Now I believe fully in wearing clothes you love and feel good about.  This felt shaming.

Does he really believe in his heart surgeon heart that he helped anyone?  He knows better!

So here’s my tip!  Don’t you dare put yourself on one more diet!  Dieting is a way to tell yourself you can’t be trusted with food and your body and feelings.   It’s about disconnecting with your bodies innate wisdom and typically comes with a militant voice that tells you what a screw up you are.

Learning to value yourself is learning to listen to your body when it’s full and hungry and in between.  It’s about accepting and honoring all of you.  The wrinkles, the baby stretch marks, the hips or no hips, and loving your body for all it does for you day in and day out.  It’s about accepting and feeling what you need to feel to heal and move forward.  I believe with all of my being that dieting and focusing on what’s so wrong with you is a way to distract from your life right now.

Feeling better about you is not just about the outside.  A big part is how you treat yourself and the voice you use day in and day out on the inside.  Once you start to connect to who you are and what you want and need, everything will start to fall into place.  I can almost promise this!

Getting your body to look the way you want it to on the outside is about connecting to your body on a deep level and accepting all of it.   All that energy you are using every day to avoid you and your body or numb out or drink yourself into abyss… we need to redirect and reconnect.

Huh? Is that what you are thinking?  I know.  I’ve been there.  This is why I’ve created my Vibrant Body Program.  I’ve been there and so many women I talk to have been there.  Men too!

You have lost touch with the reality that your body knows what it needs and your inner being knows what it needs.  Listening to your body and inner being is really the simple key.  When we focus on the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, which is what Dr. Oz is using to sell his show, we miss the truth.

So what’s the truth exactly?  That you are amazing!  The more you connect with this truth and really start to embrace who you are and let you and the world see it… you will be set free.   A number on the scale, a bank balance, a relationship, etc. will never do this for you.

Like Oprah says, “What I know for sure is…” you have everything you need within you to look and feel good.  By accessing this inner resource and really listening to yourself, you will end some very long battles between you and food and money and whatever else you’ve been avoiding.

I’m not saying this is easy step 1,2,3 and poof there it is.  No!  This is tough work at times and painful.  It’s allowing yourself to be truthful about how you operate in your life.   It’s about confronting negative beliefs and feelings that swirl around in your psyche and leave you feeling powerless.

Dieting is NOT about listening to your body.   It’s about eating based on counting points and calories and ignoring hunger signals.  I want you eating when you are hungry.  I want you to feel your feelings when they are there and not numb out with food or other things.  I want you to listen to whispers within that tell you something isn’t right or I need something to change.

You know better than any expert what your body needs.  Pay attention and it’s wisdom will shine through!

We all know what’s coming up.  V-Day!  Your body probably just reacted to this in one of many ways-  excited, dread, ambivalent, etc.

Whether you are married, single, dating, divorcing, engaged… I’m writing this for you.

The way I see it is that LOVE is all around us.  It’s ours for the sharing and taking.  You just have to be open to giving and receiving love.

Are you behaving in loving ways to people in your life?  Are you open to receiving love and attention from friends, family, partners?

If you answered yes, then great and step it up this month.  If no, then give yourself a love assignment and do something extra special for someone that could really use some LOVE.

Last Valentines Day I left a package of yummy chocolates on my dear friends doorstep with a card.  She was in the middle of a dreadful divorce.

She was so grateful and it made me feel good to help soothe her pain.  I know she would do the same for me.

Go spread some Vibrant Love!

I really like to share resources with my clients.  I’m about to share a few fun ones with you!
In one day, two of my clients told me how much fun they were having on Pinterest.  Pin what?  If you haven’t already begun to use this neat online tool, get ready to have some fun.

Pinterest is a website dedicated to people sharing interests.  You create boards and “pin” your favorite recipes, music, books, photos, inspirations, etc.  There is something for everyone.  It is fun to peruse and find things to repin.  You can also link with facebook and your friends already using it.  http://pinterest.com

Going with our theme this month of getting clear on what you want to be creating- a digital vision board.  This is a great way to put your goals right in front of you on your computer.  Like a vision board but without all the messy glue!  You can find free ones and pay for more advanced programs.  http://lifevisionboards.com   and  http://digitaldreamboard.com

The last resource is sharing with you a really neat gal, Christine Kane.  I went to her 3-day retreat this summer, and she has a great way of teaching and inspiring people.  Here is her link to her story of how and why she uses vision boards in her life.  http://christinekane.com/how-to-make-a-vision-board/

You know I like to hear from you so share your vision board or link with me on Pinterest!

We’re halfway through January!  Let’s get this week started right.

There’s lots of buzz going around about people picking a word of the year.  I guess you could call it a more hip way to set a New  Year’s resolution.

I really love the idea of picking a word or theme or mantra to use with yourself on a daily basis.  It’s uplifting and what a great way to direct our behavior and attract more of what we want in our life.

My word of the year is ‘Allow’ as I try new things and venture out in new directions personally and professionally.  I repeat it to myself frequently and it reminds me to be open to allowing what I need and want.  As I breathe and repeat it to myself, I can feel my energy shift and feel more open to receiving and creating.

What might your word or words be for 2012?

Choose a word that really resonates and energizes you.  Below are a few examples if you need a nudge to get started.

Abundance, Create, Uplevel, Go Big, Trust, Believe, Allow, Love, Peace, Discover, Awake, Alive, ….

Let me know what word you choose.

Hello January and goodbye 2011.  Not so fast!  I want to spend this month reflecting on the year gone by AND getting a plan in place to create a year of joy and prosperity in whatever form that may come for you.

Historically January is a month of depression and depriving New Year resolutions.  It’s like we jump from permissive holiday “free for all” into restrictive January hunker down.

As long as I can remember, January and February have been really tough months for me and my clients.  We know why, right? Cold dreary weather, credit card debt, having to live in pants that come with adjustable waist bands, etc. all cause havoc on our moods.

What if this January is not the month of blahs, but of revelations and inspirations?  I’m determined to make it that way for me and give you the tools to do it along with me.

Each week I will send you an assignment to work on for the week.  As always, I love to hear from you so let me know how it goes!

Week 1- For week one I’m giving you a bonus assignment.  I want you to get started strong and with a supportive voice inside you that guides you and gives you the love and compassion we all need.

Assignment #1:  This week is the week of YES, I can! I really think it’s a set up for failure when we go out of the gate running into January with a lot of “No more spending, overeating, lollygagging, etc.”  So, set your environment up for “Yes, I can!”  This means have food around the house that you want to eat and will feed your body and soul, get your list of books you’ve been meaning to read (have your read Hunger Games- Oy-vey!), see a great movie, get reacquainted with a hobby (my favorite new hang out is Fleece in Cumming), stay in touch with your friends, start something you really know will help you get where you want… like my new Vibrant Body Program for Women – sorry I just had too!

So make your list of “Yes, I can” and start checking them off.  Have fun, feel good inside and out.

Assignment #2:  This one is going to take some using your noggin and remembering 2011.  I know I can’t remember yesterday, but we’re going to try.

I want you to write out a list of what you feel you improved on in 2011 and how it helped you.  Then get clear on how you will continue to use this in 2012 and how you will build on this success.
Include things even if you only did them once but it was good for you and you’d like to do more of it.
Example:
1.  Began Yoga-makes me happy and gets rid of stress- will increase yoga classes to a minimum of one time per week.
2.  Practice mindfulness and living in the present-Gives me joy in day to day life and gives my life more meaning. Will continue to use in variety of settings in my life and journal the benefits.
3.  De-cluttered socially- only allow people in my life that I respect, enjoy and add value to my life.   – Will make time for these people in my life through chatting, coffee, knitting together.

The point here is to build on things you are already doing that you want to continue with or ramp up.  Of course, you will be adding to your list for 2012 of things that will improve you overall

Vibrant Living!Here’s to a wonderfully Vibrant 2012!

I’m about to share one of my all-time favorite tools to get more of what you want in every part of your life.  It’s Visualization!  You may have heard of guided imagery too. It’s the same thing.

Here’s my quick story and testimonial given to me by one of my dearest friends just a few days ago.

A day before Thanksgiving she called me to chat and she began talking about her concerns of managing Thanksgiving.  Her wish list:  Husband listens and responds to requests, children behave or keep the whining and fighting to a minimum for a few hours, the food is edible, perfectionism and anxiety stays low.

Beth’s remedy to the rescue!  “You could visualize how you want this day to go from beginning to end. Picture your husband behaving the way you need him to, see your children listening and being polite, taste how good the food is, hear the sounds of laughter and joy,  and play this whole scene out from beginning to end.”

Her response to me sort of surprised me.  After all, she’s educated, open minded and surely trusts me.  So she says, “Hmmmmm. What if it doesn’t work, and I’m just really disappointed that what I imagined didn’t come true.”

Good question I thought to myself.

Remember she’s not a client but a very dear friend and buddy of mine.  I don’t have to talk to her like she’s a client.

So I say with a sigh “Just try it!”

A couple of days ago she called me to say “I know you may not hear this enough, BUT you were right! It worked great!”  She then went on to tell me what she visualized and how her day really did follow the dream in her minds-eye.

If you don’t totally buy into this yet, then try this little experiment.  Imagine that you are biting into a lemon right now.  Is your mouth watering?  Then my point is made.  What we see in our imagination is incredibly powerful.  Positive or Negative.

Begin your own experimentation and start small and progress to bigger things in your life.   You know that famous saying, “DREAM BIG.”  It’s true. We all need to DREAM BIG and Dream about the smaller things in life.

I want to hear from you too about what happens when you try Beth’s Remedy.

Oh, I can feel that buzz in the air, can’t you?  It’s everyone’s energy gearing up for the holidays.  Behind closed doors in my therapy office, I’m helping clients develop strategic survival plans for dealing with “those PEOPLE!”

The truth is this is all so very simple.

Rule #1… We do not live in a book, a movie or a scripted reality show.  We are all people with mouths and we like to use them at the wrong time to the wrong people.  So, this year Keep IT Shut!  I can’t tell you how many holidays that I think I have saved by just not talking at the wrong time to the wrong people with the wrong words.  “KEEP IT SHUT” plays in my head on a continuous loop.  If I dare have a glass of wine, I turn up the volume.

Rule #2… No politics, finances, religion or unsolicited advice giving.  NONE!  Just stick to the food, the weather, t.v. shows, and Angry Birds (the game).

Rule #3… You’re not going to win any awards so don’t try and be Betty Crocker, Martha Stewart, or Cake Boss.  I tend to expend ridiculous amounts of energy trying to make everything perfect only to knock over a table, break a bottle of wine and a wine glass the minute the party gets started.  The most fun I have is when the host is relaxed and having fun.  Have fun!

Rule #4… Everyone is going to be ticked about something.  This is just the truth because we all carry our own little dreams in our head about how we want reality / family life to be like.   Deep down I want things my way and so does everyone else for the holidays.  So how do we deal with this one?  HMMMM?????  It’s a tuffy, BUT I have the answer and you’re not going to see this coming.  LOVE!  Yep, we all just want to feel like we matter and that people love or at the very least like us.  So don’t worry so much about making everyone’s holiday dreams come true but do spread lots of love around.   You’ll be very pleased and so will they.

Rule #5… Visualize what you want and make some memories.  Do you spend pre-holiday time thinking about the things you are dreading?  Sure the long lines, holiday traffic, family drama, money leaving your bank account at warp speed. I really want you to use this rule and spend a lot of time thinking about your holiday season and being present with the people you love.  If you have kids, they will remember you being present and enjoying time together more than any gifts.  Think about any fond holiday memories you have.  It wasn’t the gifts, it was the experience.

Happy Rule Following….

I just found out the damage I’ve been doing by drinking several Salted Caramel Mocha Lattes a week.  It’s not pretty.  As I write this, I have switched to the skinny latte.  It’s not that bad… I will save my favorite for a once a week indulgence.    I love the SCML!!!  I mean I talk to strangers about this drink.  A guy in line just asked me what I ordered and I told him the skinny latte and I had to preface it with “ BUT I really love the SCML!”  He asked me if it was made with real salt.  I’m not sure why he asked this but it gave me a chance to talk more about my new obsession.  “YES, it’s sea salt, with caramel and mocha.” Come on!!!

Anyway, I write this to you because of my  a-ha moment.  I’ve been drinking this drink like it is water  for a good 2 months.   I didn’t want to know that it has 330 calories and 60 grams of carbohydrates!  And if I don’t know the truth I can hide from the truth.  This goes for anything in our lives- the number on the scale, the balance in our bank account, not having a real conversation with someone because it might hurt one or both of our feelings.

Here’s one more story for you.  My daughter recently got home from school and had apparently hurt a friend’s feelings.  The little girl went home crying and her mother called me.  “OH, NO!”  Before I had a chance to return the mother’s phone call, I had to sit my daughter down and try and figure out just what had happened.   I got some vague details, of course.  I went into mommy/therapist mode and told her that we all make mistakes every day and what’s important is how we handle it.  I told her that I couldn’t help her make this situation better if she didn’t tell me the truth.  Sound familiar yet?  My daughter was embarrassed and didn’t want to look at her own behavior or be honest with her or me about it.

We did get to the bottom of it, and she apologized and all was good again in 7 year-old world of girl drama.  It got my attention though.  It made me think about the thing I was asking my daughter to do.  No small task for anyone!

Below is a piece of my roadmap for living a more truthful and vibrant life.

1. Be Honest with you first.
2. Realize you are human and make daily mistakes.  You are forgivable.
3. Take the risk of saying you are wrong in how you handled something and make it right.
4. Be Proud of yourself for dealing with the truth in a truthful way no matter what it is.

What are you avoiding looking at in your life?  Pick one thing this week and challenge yourself to know the truth about it.

Here’s to a vibrant week!